Teach Me How to Dogy! Chapter 6: Tourney on a Budget -Food-

YES! WE LIVIN! THE ANTICIPATED RETURN OF TEACH ME HOW TO DOGY!

And today! Oh ho ho ho ho TODAY! I'm bringing all of you tourney heads a fairly important topic!

You ever wonder why you can only go to one tourney a year, it seems like? Every time you go to one, you're pouring out ridiculous amounts of money when I myself can go to North Carolina for a grand total of $40 dollars? No, that's not an exaggeration, I've gone to NC, entered TWO tourneys, and only spent $40 bucks.

It's possible! (Well, the same effect. Prices may vary. You NY niggas pay too damn much). And I'm here to teach you how!

So it's time to TEACH ME HOW TO DOGY! TEACH ME~~ TEACH ME HOW TO DOGY!!

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The Diet Plan (Food)

It's one thing to try to go a tourney, enjoy yourself, and indulge in all of fine dining (read: White Castle outside of the South, Jack in the Box outside of GA XD), but it gets ridiculous when people are crying 'bout being broke while scarfing down a large combo from Firehouse Subs. THAT'S $10 FRICKIN DOLLARS. THINK 'BOUT IT.

Yes, if you're hungry, you gotta eat. If you're the kinda person who can randomly go days without eating, that'll save you money at the price of being constantly harassed by your gut. However, most humans can't do that. That's GOOD that you can't do that. That DOESNT mean you need to go buy the entire IHOP menu though.

First thing to help you out, if you're going for fast food, the value menu is not a dirty word. Like, if it's not obvious, you outta WHORE THE TRASH OUT OF THE VALUE MENU. Go to wendys. 4 orders of chicken nuggets and a drink. That's somewhere in the realm of 5 bucks no matter WHERE you're at. 20 nuggets. Come on, you can make that work for like, a day, if you really have to. You're gunna be busy mashin' buttons, spinnin' sticks, and everything else, so it's not like food is going to be front and center all the time. I myself will even break taboo and say stuff like Subway is acceptable. Why? $5 dollar footlongs. You eat 6 inches of sub now, and 6 inches forever from now. Sure, you'll need some conservation to keep from demolishing everything you get, but you'll thank yourself in a few weeks when you can go out to the second tourney in the month.

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The BEST way to save money, however.... IS TO JUST PACK YOUR F'N MEAL. Ok, maybe not literally PACK food from home (ALTHOUGH YOU'D BE AMAZED HOW MUCH YOU CAN SAVE BY DOING SO), but do some grocery shopping before you go out. If you're some high schooler or a college student who hasn't had to buy groceries yet, then you don't really understand HOW MUCH MORE fast food costs. If you do buy groceries, then I'm surprised you haven't thought of this yet. Grocery shopping can turn $20 dollars from 4 fast food stops (2 days) into something crazy like $5 dollars.

Here's the secrets of how to Dogy.

Drinks? 2-Liters. 2-liter drinks raaaaaaaaaaaaape 1 day tourneys free. Especially if you can find them for under a dollar. Think about it. 20oz. Drink = 1.50? But NORMALLY you can find a 2liter, NO SPECIAL, for 'bout 1.69? WHY WOULD YOU GET THE 20OZ??!?! YOU KNOW YOU'RE GUNNA BE THIRSTY AGAIN! Grab that 2 liter and let everybody be like "WOW YOU REALLY BROUGHT A 2 LITER??" as they take themselves to the hotel vending machine and pay $2 bucks for a 16oz.

Water is also a very good option. I myself and not a huge fan of drinking water at all, but it's cheaper. And no, you don't have to get tap water. Smart water is real popular among budget-goers. You just need to stop at a gas station/grocery store and figure out what'll last you for as long as you need. Just please, stay away from Vitamin Water (GLARE AT JX31).

Speaking of gas stations, dont count out fountain drinks. If you can find a Quiktrip, you can net yourself a manly 64oz drink for 1.39 (or something to that effect. Perk? The refills (i forget how much they are off the top of my head, they SHOULDN'T be more than a dollar). These things are AWESOME for multi day tourneys as a 64oz drink should last for a majority of a day unless you're just TRYING to take twenty bathroom breaks.

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The last little tidbit I'm gunna go over is grocery store meals. Those things are GDLK. Wings and Subs, those are the two I like the most. Deli sections are so good.

But really, you just have to get creative when you look around a grocery store. Sure, you don't WANT to spend the entire day snacking. But if you're kool with that, then you can safe a truckload of money with some crazy ideas. Can cereal hold you over for a while? Yeah? Frosted Flakes! Got access to a microwave? Get a few packs of ramen. Gunna be there for a long-haul? Bread + Sandwich meat. There are so many simple, yet effective ways to go about keeping your tank well off throughout the event.

I personally like wings because you can normally get crazy deals that'll net you ~20 wings for 'bout $6 bucks or so. Yes, if you have a dedicated wings store near you, you can probably find the same deal or better. Some of us don't have that though, so it's nice to KNOW we've got food waiting for us rather than gamble and have to come off $10 bucks for the same amount. You can't lose with subs though. Grocery store subs are bigger and have more meat than Subway. Subway's the LOWEST you're gunna get with subs (granted they've got fairly low quality too, imo)

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In short, that's one of the many ways I go about saving money for a trip. Probably THE most cost efficient way, as food is the only huge variable in a tourney.

Sorry this one's not well made, it was the first one back and I'm trying to come up with some solid TMHTD! ideas. Shoutouts for BBQ for pitching this idea to me, though. Surprised I couldn't come up with it myself in spite of being known for the "tourney meal" from Publix.

Until next time!