Teach Me How to Dogy Chapter 4: CP Time

Thank god for CP time. Why? Because without it, I probably would of skipped this week of TMHtD, and that would have been past my 2 week schedule.

I've actually racked my brain for 2 weeks tryin to figure out what to teach you, all the way down to 'bout 20 minutes ago when I got out of the movies (Saw Inception. It's a good movie. That's for another post).

I went through a few topics; bummin', sodas, car music selections. Buncha random Dogy-esque topics, but I kept thinking "that's not good and I'm running out of time."

*BAM*

... wait, I'm never out of time. I'm on CP Time!

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"Well Dogy, what is CP Time?"

CP Time is actually short-hand for the term "Colored People's Time". The term itself represents a illogical concept centered around people of color that time is not a constant, but indeed a variable.

When this concept is presented by another person, it can prove to be one of the most devastating attacks to a schedule. But when you yourself grasp and use it, it can be one of the most valuable weapons against chronological episodes.

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You've probably witnessed the use of CP Time and may have not thought anything of it. Somebody says "I'll be there at 2pm sharp!" and they come strolling in at 2:30 or later. "I'll be done before 5", but they clearly work as if they have till 8. That's CP Time! Sure, they're giving the illusion that the event will occur (or conclude) at the designated time, but the truth is they're using their mastery of CP Time to change that one designated moment in measurable reality into a variable.

DON'T FALL FOR IT!

However, when you can unravel the mystery of CP Time, time will no longer control you and your schedule! ... That is, until you meet a greater Time master who can best you at will, such as your boss or professor.

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There are many techniques in the trade of CP Time, but you really only need to understand and master two key parts.

#1 - Blurring a Mark in Time

This is the technique used in the example from the previous section. With this, you have a clear moment that you are supposed to be aiming for, whether it's the start of a party or the end of a date. However, your true objective is to use that time as a cliffnote. You're not gunna' be back home at 11, but the stronger your mastery of Blurring a Mark, the further away you can stray from 11. Infact, if your skill is so much better than the receiver of the mark, then you can almost delete the mark from existence.

It's mindboggling how it works.

#2 - Varying a Constant

Now this is the most identifiable and common part of CP Time. So common that it's embedded in our everyday customs and traditions.

Think about this; are you're reading this, somebody may have told you to get up and clean those f'n dishes. Be it a mother, girlfriend (or boyfriend. Damn, girl!), roommate, whatever. And what was your response? "I'll do it in a minute!"

STOP RIGHT THERE

Think again. You said "In a minute. What is a minute? It's an exact, mesurable unit of time. It's 60 seconds.

However, you've already gotten ahold of a lower concept of CP Time without realizing it. You've convinced that nagging person that a minute is now 65 seconds, 5 minutes, 2 hours, or a week. That's "manipulating" time into a variable. Normally, you can't do that. You can't make a foot into 16 inches, or a dozen into 9. But if you're good enough, you can turn an hour into a day.

That is the easiest-to-use, but hardest-to-stop, offense from the CP Time playbook.

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And with that, I leave you with a bit of understanding of the phenomenon known as CP Time. Some of you may be well in tune with this and are steps ahead of the game. Others may now have an understand to why when that black person says "I haven't done this in a minute", he doesn't mean 60 seconds. He means 4 years.

Whether you accept it or not, whether you use it or not, it's there. If nothing else, you should atleast be able to identify it before it's too late.

With that, this is ~~

Dogysamich, out. ^_^

*****

lols sidenote: I was going to link to a definition of a minute, but ironically, One of the secondary definitions of a minute is "an indefinite short space in time."... That still doesn't cover for niggas saying a minute for 4 years (Yes that's happened to me), but I couldn't really just throw that in the article. -shrug- Knowledge is Power~~~ GI JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOe!